I’m not a hedonist. Although I often wish I were.
I put others before myself, and often feel cheated.
I daydream about doing things that I tell myself I can’t afford.
Last night I had a dream about my husband and my children rock climbing and having the time of their lives while I held on to the ropes, not participating in the fun. This is indicative of how I often feel in my waking life. It is no ones fault but my own!
My personal lesson is to learn how to have fun, and enjoy myself through trivial pursuits. No one ever told me this would be so difficult! I tell my students to take care of themselves, to fill up the well or it will run dry, to make “me time” etc. How long have I been running on empty?
Even though I now live where I want to, and I’m fortunate enough to be able to walk through the woods or spend the day at the beach, my dream tells me I’m still missing some form of personal pleasure. Pay attention to what your subconscious says… it’s trying to wake you up!
Although the events in the book are personal, this isn't my story; it's our story. We've all been there: shamefully sucking-in our tummies to impress others, or using our sexuality to advance our careers because our intelligence or talent come second. Chapters from the book will be released in no chronological order, organically pouring out of me as emotions and memories resurface. Thank you for being here. —Kristen