Exit to Eden

While I was working at the club in North Hollywood there wasn’t a day that went by that we dancers weren’t approached by some movie “producer” or musician offering to put us in their next big project etc. I had heard ever pitch under the sun and thought I was able to discern between the real offer and the bullshitter.

One day there were two nondescript gentlemen that had been at the club for many hours intensely watching every dancers performance. They were sitting next to the DJ booth which I had to go to between every set to get my music ready. After several sets they asked me to sit with them so they could ask me something. They were there as location scouts for a big movie that was going to shoot there in a few weeks. They loved the way I danced, thought I was the best, the prettiest, and wanted to know if I’d like to be in the film. There was nothing about them that made me believe this was a legitimate offer, so I simply entertained them by pretending to be interested. I began to ask questions, wanting to see how far they could play this out. It was a game that I had often played. They asked me if I had any problem with nudity on camera because there would be nudity in the film. I said no, but wondered who the stars were. They immediately answered “Dan Ackroyd and Rosie O’Donnel”. And that’s when I lost it! I burst out laughing and basically said something like this as I got up and walked away… “You guys were doing really good up until then. You expect me to believe that Dan and Rosie are starring in a film about strippers that requires nudity? Nice try!”

I went into the dressing room and told the other girls about this and then we all had a good laugh. I honestly didn’t expect the guys to still be there when I went out for my performance, but they were. They sat there watching me intently again. Once again it was time for me to walk past them as I approached the DJ. I was surprised that they called me over again and began pleading their case, telling me it was all legit and that they REALLY wanted me in this film. I became rude and bitchy, tired of the BS, and simply said, “If this is for real you can contact the bar manager and he will get in touch with me”, and once again walked away laughing at them.

A couple days later the bar manager called and asked me if I’d like to be in a movie that was being filmed at the bar.

Although the events in the book are personal, this isn't my story; it's our story. We've all been there: shamefully sucking-in our tummies to impress others, or using our sexuality to advance our careers because our intelligence or talent come second. Chapters from the book will be released in no chronological order, organically pouring out of me as emotions and memories resurface. Thank you for being here. —Kristen