Too sexy to be a slut!

"When I told myself that I wanted to be sexy and classy, 
the classy part meant that I wanted to be wanted 
more than I wanted to be had."

I very clearly remember an acting workshop I was in at age thirteen when we were asked the question; What two words would you like to be used most when people describe you? My answer came as fast and easy as any answer could, I didn’t even have to think about it. Sexy and Classy! At the ripe old age of thirteen I already knew that I wanted to be thought of as sexy, but it had to be coupled with classy.

Most people in our society assume that if a woman is sexy, acts sexy, dresses in sexy clothing etc, that she must also be a slut. Why is that? Why can’t a woman just be plain sexy?

Being a sexy woman does not in any way equal being promiscuous, although most people automatically assume that it does. Allow me to get a little personal here and possibly venture into the land of TMI…

Millions of people have seen my naked body. Literally! Millions! I know this because I modeled for Playboy magazine. I was also featured as a topless dancer in two major motion pictures and starred in a few not so major ones. I think of myself as an incredibly sexy woman, yet I felt fortunate and honored to be chosen for those jobs, because even though I feel sexy, I didn’t necessarily feel pretty. I quite proudly exposed myself to the world without any concern for what people thought about me. Why would I do this? Because I knew that I wasn’t acting against my own morality. Nudity is not immoral. No matter how many people have seen me naked, I have only actually given myself to a very small number of individuals. I am a firm believer in monogamy, fidelity, and in treating my body, my being, my temple, as a gift that should only be given under very special circumstances. I am quite the opposite of promiscuous.

I can parade around without any clothes on, dance naked in front of a huge audience, proudly own my sexuality, AND at the end of the day face the mirror knowing that my personal morals and ethics are still intact. I love the human figure. I’m not afraid of admitting that I have been enamored by images both male and female, both classical and pornographic. I simply don’t understand the puritanical attitudes of covering up and hiding what we ALL have. It’s a body… get over it! Instead of shying away from it try celebrating it! No matter what shape it’s in.

My personal morals are mine and mine alone. I would never in any way try to impose them on someone else. I own them for me! Your personal morals are what are important for you. The numbers of sexual partners you’ve had aren’t the issue. The question to ask yourself at the end of the day is; Do I feel good about the way I have treated my body? No one else’s opinion matters! Don’t let anyone make you feel like a slut! Only your opinion matters!

When I told myself that I wanted to be sexy and classy, the classy part meant that I wanted to be wanted more than I wanted to be had. If I could grow up to be and feel sexy, then that was enough for me. I didn’t want or need multiple partners to obtain that. So forget about the notches on your bedpost! Own your sexiness no matter what other people think, and don’t give yourself away unless they are truly worthy of your temple.

You’re too sexy to be a slut!


Although the events in the book are personal, this isn't my story; it's our story. We've all been there: shamefully sucking-in our tummies to impress others, or using our sexuality to advance our careers because our intelligence or talent come second. Chapters from the book will be released in no chronological order, organically pouring out of me as emotions and memories resurface. Thank you for being here. —Kristen